Motivation station

Its strange...


For years in my life I have had somewhat of a problem with motivation. Whether its waking up on a Saturday before 12pm, or brushing my teeth before I go to bed. I almost always used to have trouble committing to these tasks. I just 'couldn't be bothered'.

I have been gearing towards becoming a professional 3d artist for three years now, but knowing I should be drawing and working, and actually committing to it is something else. I used to just read a bit of theory, admire someones work, then get halfway through a 3d model using someone else's photo for reference.

Lets not lie, I was lazy, and lets face it, you snooze you lose. No game artist got their job because they were lazy and their artwork was crap. I'm not going to get into an interview based on my drinking achievements or my ability to sleep like no other. I will only get a job if I am fucking good.

This prospect is scary to most, myself included. After these three years of university... Will I really be that good? The questions, the insecurities, the positive beliefs and the doubts are swimming amongst our little first year minds. And in most cases I should be shitting myself.

But here is the thing - I have come to university in a city I have never lived in before, after a long trip around America. I have managed to enrolled on a course that inspires me, and motivates me like I have never been before.

Right now, or before I wrote this blog, I was packing my sketchbook full on little thumbnails, repeating, practicing, and nailing my single point perspective. My friends are out drinking, as I would normally be but here I am, in my bedroom, spending much less and learning. And its not a chore, I've not been set it by a lecturer. I am doing it because I want to, because I enjoy it, and because I am motivated to be the best artist I can be.

I have come from a very shit 2d art background. I have generally had little confidence in my drawing abilities. I have always known I can draw, and often I can draw orthographic images for characters, but I would never draw an environment for fun, or to practice anything. Becasue there was nothing to practice, no theory, skill or technique with which to refine. But now I find myself enjoying it, repeating it, and downloading dvd's by 'Feng Zhu' (but I diddn't tell you that). Because all of a sudden I have a technique that I enjoy using, I have a new way of looking at and thinking about pencil strokes, I have a reason to draw.

I love learning new, I love getting better, I love feeling motivated, and because of that I love this course. In only three weeks I have learned enough to see an improvement in my work, and I can't wait for the future...